Category Archives: poetry

Optional….Necessary

What’s these Jordan Socks… When all we needed was a piece of cloth to wrap around our feet and ankles to smother the pain of two hard worked feet cuts n bruised being drilled into the ground by two legs weaker than me. All we knew was switches to backs n we surely didnt know nothin bout a swish in no basket was liable to make a black man cry and call HIM Masta.

Yet we soldiered on.

What’s these rappers they call god….When all we needed was a hymn and some hope to calm our spirits and heal our bodies from a hard days work of picking cotton and being whipped. We didnt know nothin bout no tops dropping but our own. Head to the ground. We couldnt look up high. We saw the dirt and gravel and some slithers of a semi blue sky dusted with our anguish and we never would of imagined candy paint over our ten toes. Or that the ropes around our necks would soon be covered in gold.

Yet we soldiered on.

What’s these bitches and hoes…..when all we needed was a glimpse of a memory of a woman who gave us life. separated by a man we called whitey. 20, 25, 30, 35, 40 going once twice sold! A black woman sold for 40 pieces of silver to a man who she would later call mister and her children, well we were all right for the picking and one by one became another lazy mans fixing. We didnt know nothing bout a woman being anything more than our protector. Knocked down 4 times before she let them just carry us away. We aint know nothing bout a girl being weaker than what she say. Just because we say. Those words came from the mouths of the wicked and bigots and it wasnt just a phrase it was a life sentence. To degradation. But somehow you all turned a abomination to praise which is only self mutilation and after every other word, there’s a bitch in every conversation.

Wake up Nation

You’ve been sleeping a lil too long now. and the pain they feel is getting kinda strong now.  are you too weak that you’ll just go along with it. Ignore the truth and accept the lies in it. What’s optional is their way of thinking. Allow yourself to be the teacher outside the school house inside your own domain. Change your process change your thoughts. or is it detrimental to pay the cost. What’s detrimental is paying the cost. Realize what you’re not obtaining is truly lost. Materials are the lost ones treasures. Indulge in the moment and be lost forever.

Kissed By The Sun (Spoken Word)

When I have a daughter
I will tell her how beautiful she is
from the moment she’s born
and how her face resembles
the petals of a sunflower
kissed by the sun
I will tell her how much she’s loved
and refuse to let her go
like those presents left by Santa’s magic
on Christmas
when she’s five years old
I will tell her
that I’ll always be her friend
to hold her when she’s
13 years old and sitting alone
No baby, life’s not fair
everything you want looks it,
but its not right there
Chin up baby, I’m right here
She’s older and i’m concerned
cause she feels the worlds on her shoulders
and i’m feeling guilty
cause its some things I haven’t told her
like, about us
young and naive
all i did was dream of love
I had spent 5yrs
trying to prove
I was the one
i had took love from my family, my friends, and myself
just to take it all and give it to someone else
just for him to take it all
and give to someone else
and it seemed like forever
it took to get it all back
but after some time
you found me
you who placed me on this pedestal
of love and affection
showered me with devotion, honor and truth
but the greatest thing created was you
for when shes 18
and her heart can be mistaken
for stained glass shattered by rocks
to show her
that good things come from pain
and the sun always comes after the rain
and that she must hold her head high
because I refuse to tell her
how every now and then
I cry
when memories of his face
cross my mind
and how it always seems to hurt
when someone mentions his name
I cant tell her
the love outlived the pain
So i’ll tell her of us
and i’ll tell her she’s loved
and the best thing he did
was bring me closer to her
She’s beautiful
and her face resembles
petals kissed by the sun

What Am I Doing? (spoken word)

What am I doing?

What am I doing?

What am I doing?

I’m staring in the rear view

but I’m not even moving

What are you doing?

A silent voice whispered

not to my flesh

but to my soul did it minister

I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW!

I turned the key to the ignition

but couldn’t pull off

I felt like something was missing

So I was waiting…

What are you waiting for?

I DON’T KNOW!

Someone or something, maybe

running a little late

the boy who broke my heart; saying baby its not too late

the child I couldn’t mother to say mom I’m okay!

the dreams I abandoned saying they’re still great

the time that I wasted saying it still counts

all the doors that closed saying were open now

all the friends that I lost saying they still care

The God who abandoned me saying I’m still here

the scars that I carry to say they’re all healed

for my past to tell my future Its all good!

What am I doing?!

What are you doing….?

You said you turned the ignition

so that you could move forward

but the gear is in reverse

and to revert you couldn’t afford it

you’re chained to your past

by the pain of what ifs

but a new life I gave you

when I surrendered to the whips

and your eyes cry rivers as wide as these gashes

and your hunger for love could starve the masses

but you wont let me wipe your tears

and if I can feed a multitude then I can appease you

I haven’t given you a spirit of fear

but of love and a sound mind

stop overthinking, no clock can track me

I am the master of time

and its time that you let go

What are you doing?

What am I doing?

I’m releasing you

I’m unchaining your heart

I’m unchaining your feet

I’m unchaining your arms

No! Wait!

I’ll forget them, they’ll forget me

You dont understand I rely on their memory daily

Wait! Please!

If you are who you say you are

show some compassion

If I AM Who I AM?

My child do not offend

I already gave you what you asked of me

when I took those nails and lashes for thee

Do you not trust my judgement

or should I just leave you curled up with the falsehoods of others?

I Love You enough to give you the truth

and the only way to new is to rid yourself of the used

or do you not understand?

The boy that you claim broke your heart

was just preparing you for a love more precious than art

and a God fearing Man

your baby is waiting to be sent down again

She’s always been okay, she was in my father’s hands

Your dreams have manifested like the flowers and trees

but your doubt and your fear lay root to numerous weeds

time is never wasted for I can stop, fast forward and rewind

you worry about lack but I am the Father of Time

You stared at the doors that closed for so long

I had already moved mountains for you to move on

friends come and go but what did they teach you?

Its easy to say you care but did they mean it too?

my child He did not abandon you

I’m right here

a piece of me is there and a piece of me is here

your scars, are beautiful

and have already been healed

I cleansed you with my blood

and anointed them with my tears

your past can only direct your future if you let it

your future was determined

well and good, in the beginning

He created Heaven and Earth

then molded you

you’re running towards a future

but you’re horizon is not in view

the weights around your ankles

keep pulling back at you

So I’m releasing you

I’ve seen you struggling to do it yourself

but I could only come when you asked for my help

see I heard your cries in the dead of the night

when you felt by yourself

I lay your head in my palms and asked

Was there anything else?

and you poured out your soul

even though I already knew

You see my child

I, was waiting on you

So what Am I doing?

Dare you not ask

I am declaring you

Free

Free at last

Mother

Mother,
You don’t love me
And I
Understandably overstand
I guess wed have to blame your sexism thoughts of only birthing a man
Embroidered in your dreams
I was a seed planted amongst the weeds of your flesh
I suppose it drove
You crazy
Knowing you’d birth
someone
much like yourself
And it drove me crazy
Knowing
I’d never measure up
I remember being a child
Vying for your love
How could you not love me
How could you take away the pleasure of calling you mom
Instead,
I,
Call you mother
It’s a small representation of just how formal we are
Formulating calluses
on the ventricles of my heart
Formulating scenarios
That have never played out
Sitting in the background
I’m sifting through the black grounds
Ashes,
Of what will never be
Like a moth to a flame
I still long for the love
Mother,
How could you not love me
How could I remain below
everything above me
I don’t know why I’m here
I didn’t ask to be
How come you couldn’t find the love you had for man
And pinch off just a little bit for me
I was robbed,
Of everything that should’ve been
And I look at my daughter
And cry out praying
I don’t repeat what should’ve never been
How can I be the mom she needs
If my representation doesn’t love me
I’m sorry baby
I apologize
If I ever break you down
I swear I’ll try to make it right
You can’t afford a bruised knee
Let alone a broken heart
I’ve always wanted you
I need you to know
I promise today that you’ll
Never feel the blows
Of my inadequacies
Nd bruised ego
My disdain for self
Only empowers my belief
That I have the power to
Cultivate my seed
I refuse to let her bleed
Out
I refuse to let her breed doubt
Self
Less
I refuse to let her be
Because of me
My mother couldn’t love me
But I can
& I’ll be everything you need me to be

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind

Rivers flow from irises. Eternal sunshine of spotlessness. Minds. Mine. Intertwined with vigorous visions sublime of better times. Subjecting nouns to verbs. Sentences, no, words seem absurd. When consonants have no consistency and vowels dont vow to put in perspective the many missing links. Christopher Columbus, me, I lost all sense of direction. I need a Sacagawea, I need a sack, plant seeds and hope for weeds, huh?. Lord…..the blasphemy. Total eclipse, no light to resist the dark. From the depths of an empty heart.

I Was Here

My mind is wired with my interpretations of life and like radio frequencies I pick up the vibes that would usually fly pass a regular persons eyes. I am, not defined by illusions of grandeur but by the illusions of time. Like I am not great because I am. I am great because though time does not wait, it does not waste and there will always be more time to become who I am. Its not assumed. Its factual, written in stone, because even if I died tomorrow, I am the ME the world should have known.

Beauty Never Dies

Wandering amongst the broken stems and petals of roses who knew beauty long before the assassination of its character, thornless stems glowing green in the light of the sun, now dried from the release of its waters flowing freely like smoke in a cold wind. Petals no longer resembling lips of a vixen colored in red. Turned into brittle veins depleted of oxygen coping with reality, fertilizing the birth preparing underneath. Beauty never dies, it always transforms into new things.

Crown You, King

To thine self be real….

I wish that I could crown you
King
I would travel on the back side of lions
To a land unclaimed
Just to dig a grave of emeralds and diamonds
So the world would know
I crown you
King
I wish that i could crown you
King
You exceed the peasantry pleasantries they say you possess
Not just history, his story, a legacy at best
Encompassed by your compassion
And authoritative action
You meet and exceed me
Match anything im lacking
If i could crown you
King
Id take the chains they wrap
Around your wrists
And mold them with love
Understanding and truth
Just so the world could know
I crown you
King

 

 

Drained (Poem)

Bottling up emotions
Bottled up anger
I dont let it show
Dont let it go
I swear im bottling up some danger
Mirrors looking back
I swear im staring at a stranger
Where’s your smile young girl
Face twisted and mangled
I been searching for that old soul
But i lost her under the anguish
lost her under depression
Lost her under the pressure
I lost her under all the titles
Motherfuckers would give her
Where’s that fire young girl
It used to burn bright
Now every morning im scrambling
Just trying to find the light
I cant do this shit no more
Got damn im on the edge
All my life i been fighting
And i still cant get ahead
Trying act stronger but
All i do is hold it in
I aint never been enough
Not for family, foe or friend
So when you ask me where’s my smile, its lost amongst regret
For all the times i cowardice and the shit i never said
My fire burned out slowly, it smoldered under tears.
Drop by drop as the fire stopped
Even the ashes disappeared